Non Sequiturs

My school toothpaste tastes like green tea.

I'm convinced the lunch ladies give me extra kimchi.

I'm still waiting to like kimchi.

My coteacher (and principal, and vice principal) keeps insisting the neighborhood around my school is dangerous. Just once, I'd like to ask what exactly they think will happen to me.

I'm pretty sure the 6th grade boys are saying inappropriate things about me.

I have no way to prove this.

I will never understand why Koreans sanitize their toothbrushes with special UV cabinets... but sneeze into their hands.

I think I know the real reason Korean style is loose and baggy-chic. S'cause nobody has a dryer. Their clothes just stretch out ad infinitum. My sweater sleeves are almost to my knees.

My coworkers get super stoked when they hear me say even a single Korean word. I think they forget that outside of school, 90% of my interactions have to be in Korean.

Few things make me happier than the words "Second grade is cancelled today."

I believe I've stumbled upon the secret to why Koreans are so skinny. You try deboning a fish with chopsticks. See how long it takes you before you give up and stop eating.


Floors are just more comfortable here.